


Imaginings

by Lightheadeddelirium



Category: the GazettE
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:29:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4706045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightheadeddelirium/pseuds/Lightheadeddelirium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of work I never feel to be written well enough to stand by their own, yet they reflect certain glints of a life beyond reach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imaginings

"Did I fuck it up?" 

Ruki asked, choking on the rivers of tears and mucus, finding Kai's touch momentarily distracting, yet there was tension that highlighted the elephant in the room, which the drummer was very keen in avoiding, wanting Ruki to begin regrouping his focus somewhere else. 

Freshly broken up, Ruki had never felt this unwanted, despite knowing that reality was completely otherwise from what he thought of.

But that was the power of the person that you loved most. 

Ruki couldn't stop the tears and pity he had for himself. The chemistry and thrill of love lightened up the mundane life he led. There was nothing quite like love, to have intimacy and a sanctuary within another person, away from prying eyes.

To have that all taken away from him in that instance, in that phone call, Ruki was inconsolable.

Now the loneliness settled in more than the dust that was starting to collect on his floor, and he tried, tried to find solace within the drummer's embrace, but it felt foreign, too soon, and reality just crashed upon him that he wasn't holding the one he loved anymore.

"Why does it have to hurt, Kai? I see myself as formidable....strong....independent..."

And yet, I came crashing down with melted wax wings, flying towards the sun.

Kai simply nodded and let him blabber on whatever he felt like. He made sure, however, to keep Ruki safe and well, making sure he ate, stayed away from any tendencies. 

Like the brotherly figure he was, he lifted the sobbing Ruki, and placed him on the bed. 

"You can't do this to yourself." Kai advised.

The smaller vocalist was always like this. Punishing himself more than necessary, and feeling that his character was a total failure over a mistake. But love was a potent drug, and seeing him like this was never a good thing. Especially for someone he felt that had such a unique identity and character.

But that's what anyone gets for giving part of their soul to a lover, to only see the flames shiver out into wispy smoke.

How does one reconcile with life as if never meeting that someone at all?

As Kai brought up comfortable blankets over the vocalist's tiny frame, he mused. - it would be time for Ruki to find a way to replace that gaping hole in his heart. It would take a torturous period of time to cement and solidify the collective pieces of a Ruki before this love. 

Kai was too thinking about his own pasts, failed relationship after one another - it seemed almost impossible to function with each time his heart shattered. Just like him, Ruki would have to do so until there was no more of himself yearning and grieving over the loss of love.

Such was life, such was the process of letting go.


End file.
